Coming out.

Okay, so the title is basically what it is. If you're against Homosexuality or the liking of being Transgender, DON'T READ. and please no spaming this.
I just simply want to get this out, since nobody I live with wants to hear this, like, at all.

I've also changed my Facebook gender as male, and it also says my chosen name in the nickname area, too. And I'm not fucking changing that, again, like last time.

I've tried to come out to my family a few times, but I ended up getting rejected and yelled at, because they think it's an embarrassment for their daughter/granddaughter to be Transgender... And it really upsets me that they're doing this. I tried coming out last year, they did the same thing.
But, this time, my grandma saw I changed my gender on FB and told my father. So my dad came into my room and started going off on me about it. And, i just wasn't expecting it all. So, I got supper mad and I cried that whole night. It was terrible.

So, this time, I changed my gender again, but nobody won't be able to tell, because I didn't allow it show up in the "About Me" portion. And this time, I'm not changing it. I'm going to be 18 in 7 months. I've kept this inside, bottling up for my whole life, and I just can't hold it back anymore. I hate being who I'm not.
They always tell me to be who I truly am and that they'll support me no matter what it is. But when it came to this, it only proved to me that it was just a big fucking lie.

I'm just tired of living a fake life. I really am. And I'm glad that I'm going to be 18, soon. I'll be able to make my own choices, and do what iw ant, besides obey the law. You know what I mean.

So, yes. I am Transgender.
Female to Male.

The only things I'm getting done, is getting my breasts removed when I have the money to afford the medical bill.
I'm also going to legalize my name.
So, I'm excited for that.

I'm going to try and stay away from all the negative aspects in my life right now, because I won't be able to handle them. It's so bad right now, that when I get mad, I won't be able to form legitimate sentences. I just end up crying and that's all I could do, or I would just stay silent. Because, I just can't.

And you know what makes me bloody mad? :0
When my family I live with asks me why I'm so fucking depressed...
My grandma, one morning, tried to get me up and out of bed on a Saturday afternoon, and she said, "You are one depressed little girl." After several tried of getting me out of bed. And I just sat there, and stared at her.
I don't understand why they can't see it. Why do they have to play this game with me?
Yes, I understand that it may take time to accept me for who I am, but doing this to me? I would rather have them mind there own business and not bother even asking and saying anything about my Depression.
It kills me, it fucking kills me.

But, on the other side, I have two moms that live in the cities, and they fucking support and love the shit out of me. And, i really love and support the fucking shit out of them, too. I'm really thankful to have moms like them. They actually understand me. And it also help that my best friend also happens to be Transgender, and he supports me, and I support him. I always have and he's always known, i think, that I'm exactly like him.
He's even gave me two binders, and I've been wearing them whenever I can.
My dad didn't wanna get me any because he knows I'd be wearing them. My tits shouldn't be any of his concern, at all.  
Just getting that out there...

But, like I said earlier, I needed to get this out. Like, really fucking badly.
And sorry if you read it and didn't like what you read from me, but.
I just- I'm at my fucking ends and they're breaking as I speak now.

That's whole main reason why I'm moving this summer, right after school. I'm moving in with my birth mother, down in Mankato.
She doesn't care who or what I am, she only cares that I have a home to go to, and people who love me and will just accept me without asking anything.
And she has told me that once I'm 18, "the world is mine." And that I have my own choices and decisions to make.
My mom doesn't force her opinions on me. She just tells it the way it is, and that's her sayings. She doesn't call me names or anything.
And I love that.

So, yeah.
That's what I want to say.